bismillah..
does cutting really can release tension? wait. i don't know either i tension or not. either i depressed or not. but i cry without a reason. i can suddenly cry out of blue. i don't know. i don't know how to described my feeling right now. i don't know how my mind thinking right now.
i just feel tired. exhausted. i just want to cry out loud. im weak.
i lost my spirit. i lost it all.
how to live our life? how to move on? how to be brave? how to be strong?
because of this 'kind' of me, i started to closed myself with God. then i realized, maybe this is His way to make me closed to Him. but i pray, give me all the strength for me to pass His test.
i just feel so down. i am not the best child that my parents can be proud of. but im trying to. the older i am, the more childish i became. more stupid i think i am. more lazy i be.
what just happen to me?
i dont know what i want in this world? the bigger i am, i became more lost. lost in my own world. im not competent compared to people surrounding me.
i still thinking wisely. and hope it will always be...
